Okay, so in my last post I shared all about our debt story and the first step we took towards become debt free. I also mentioned that John and I already lived a pretty trim lifestyle, so finding ways to make room in our budget for extra money toward student loans wasn't easy. BUT WE DID IT.
So the next thing we did, after we set our budget was ask ourselves this question:
HOW BAD DO WE WANT IT?
(The "it" is being debt free ;) ).
You guys, there are a lot of things we think we need that we just don't. Now, look, I'm not here to judge! But let's face it . . . our culture has made us believe that WANTS are actually NEEDS. "Treat yo-self." "Practice saying yes to yourself."
I CALL B.S.
I've heard people say that they "need" to watch a specific tv network, so they have to purchase an expensive cable package they can't afford. Or they "need" to take a vacation because they work so, SO hard at a jobs that bleed them dry and they deserve a break, but they have to charge it to a credit card. They "need" to get a fancy coffee every morning before work. They "need" that custom gear to complement their expensive hobby.
We've all been there, guys! But . . .
These are not needs!!! They're wants . . . maybe even desperate wants, maybe even wants with great intentions like staying in shape or being creative, but they are not crucial to survival. They're not heat, or lights, or food in the refrigerator. They will not keep us alive and healthy.
If I've learned anything through our debt free journey, it's the ability to say "no" to myself, to my children . . . and then to ask myself "HOW BAD DO WE WANT IT" to motivate myself to keep saying no until I don't have to anymore.
None of us likes this part. Figuring out how little you can possibly spend on yourself and still survive is a painful process. I might even go as far to say that it can dehumanize you just a little, if you let it. Because who doesn't want to "treat yo-self"? Not just because you're cutting out things you like to do, or maybe even things you really need but can do without for a time, but because you go face-to-face with your own selfishness.
I'll give you a real-life, "this actually happened to me" example. For starters, I'm like, a pretty low-maintenance woman in terms of upkeep. I don't wear much makeup and my toes are almost never pedicured. I get my hair cut about 2-3 times a year, no color. Facials, massages, eyebrows . . . those are things I do with the rare gift certificate.
But what happens when I had to give up that one, precious haircut? Like, I was already BARELY paying attention to myself as it was, and now I had to give up that, too? The ONLY thing I did for myself? Was my salon bill or our grocery budget the priority . . . like that's even a question? How selfish does that make me???
(Now, let's be clear: John was always the first person to tell me to GO GET YOUR HAIR DONE IF YOU NEED IT. He is the kind of guy who sees his wife and thinks about her needs first. He would make it happen if I really wanted or needed it. But these are the things wives/moms/partners think about- I know you hear me- and certainly real conversations I had with myself.)
We trimmed down ALL our expenses. Lots of saying "no" to ourselves. No cable. No paid subscriptions of any kind. We actually cut our Netflix account and my mother was so upset by it that she gifted us an entire year for Christmas. Cooking 98% of meals at home on a slim meal plan. I could literally feed our entire family for $1.06/per person, per meal for a week. Aldi and I were (and still are) BFFs. Dressing the boys in hand-me-downs and thrift store finds, and shopping crazy clearances. John and I passed on Christmas and birthday gifts to one another for three years in a row. It was a bare bones budget and we squeezed our pennies until they begged for mercy (hahaha).
BUT HOW BAD DID WE WANT IT?
REALLY, REALLY BADLY.
It wasn't fun to say no, but we got used to it and it got easier over time. Using the "debt snowball" (thank you, Dave Ramsey) helped knock out each debt little by little. Seeing the balance go down on the "amount due" kept us motivated.
Of course, we didn't make a huge dent in our debt without other efforts. In my next post I'll talk more about the biggest things we did to dig ourselves out of debt, plus how much we paid off in the first year!
I'll end this (kind of rant-y) post with this . . . saying "no" is not fun. But saying "yes" when we really can't or shouldn't brings on far more pain than the sting of saying "no." And, in the end, it makes the REAL "yes" (the "yes" you can and should and want to give) SO much more satisfying!
HOW BAD DO WE WANT IT?
(The "it" is being debt free ;) ).
You guys, there are a lot of things we think we need that we just don't. Now, look, I'm not here to judge! But let's face it . . . our culture has made us believe that WANTS are actually NEEDS. "Treat yo-self." "Practice saying yes to yourself."
I CALL B.S.
I've heard people say that they "need" to watch a specific tv network, so they have to purchase an expensive cable package they can't afford. Or they "need" to take a vacation because they work so, SO hard at a jobs that bleed them dry and they deserve a break, but they have to charge it to a credit card. They "need" to get a fancy coffee every morning before work. They "need" that custom gear to complement their expensive hobby.
We've all been there, guys! But . . .
These are not needs!!! They're wants . . . maybe even desperate wants, maybe even wants with great intentions like staying in shape or being creative, but they are not crucial to survival. They're not heat, or lights, or food in the refrigerator. They will not keep us alive and healthy.
None of us likes this part. Figuring out how little you can possibly spend on yourself and still survive is a painful process. I might even go as far to say that it can dehumanize you just a little, if you let it. Because who doesn't want to "treat yo-self"? Not just because you're cutting out things you like to do, or maybe even things you really need but can do without for a time, but because you go face-to-face with your own selfishness.
I'll give you a real-life, "this actually happened to me" example. For starters, I'm like, a pretty low-maintenance woman in terms of upkeep. I don't wear much makeup and my toes are almost never pedicured. I get my hair cut about 2-3 times a year, no color. Facials, massages, eyebrows . . . those are things I do with the rare gift certificate.
But what happens when I had to give up that one, precious haircut? Like, I was already BARELY paying attention to myself as it was, and now I had to give up that, too? The ONLY thing I did for myself? Was my salon bill or our grocery budget the priority . . . like that's even a question? How selfish does that make me???
We trimmed down ALL our expenses. Lots of saying "no" to ourselves. No cable. No paid subscriptions of any kind. We actually cut our Netflix account and my mother was so upset by it that she gifted us an entire year for Christmas. Cooking 98% of meals at home on a slim meal plan. I could literally feed our entire family for $1.06/per person, per meal for a week. Aldi and I were (and still are) BFFs. Dressing the boys in hand-me-downs and thrift store finds, and shopping crazy clearances. John and I passed on Christmas and birthday gifts to one another for three years in a row. It was a bare bones budget and we squeezed our pennies until they begged for mercy (hahaha).
BUT HOW BAD DID WE WANT IT?
REALLY, REALLY BADLY.
Of course, we didn't make a huge dent in our debt without other efforts. In my next post I'll talk more about the biggest things we did to dig ourselves out of debt, plus how much we paid off in the first year!
I'll end this (kind of rant-y) post with this . . . saying "no" is not fun. But saying "yes" when we really can't or shouldn't brings on far more pain than the sting of saying "no." And, in the end, it makes the REAL "yes" (the "yes" you can and should and want to give) SO much more satisfying!
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