Disclaimer: Since my last post, I've had a lot of people ask me what John and I did to get ourselves out of debt. If you had asked me about this months ago, I may have hesitated to share this story. It's incredibly personal. I don't judge anyone who has debt (of any kind) because personal finances are just that- PERSONAL. I've definitely feared criticism or judgement from others for our financial situation.
Whether you're in the same boat where we were- tired of being stressed about money and fearful of every crisis OR you're in the camp that is just curious about this part of our lives, I just ask you to be respectful. We're all just doing our best, folks.
... also, since this is sort of a heavy topic, I've sprinkled in some old family photos from the archives to ease things up a bit. ;)
OUR DEBT STORY.
The debt we carried was solely my student debt. Despite working through school, receiving a RA discount AND scholarships, out of state school is still super expensive and I paid for it on my own . . . with the assistance of Sallie Mae. That's really all there is to it. In hindsight, I think there was another way to do things, to get myself through school, but at 18 years old I didn't know anything besides what the schools told you . . . which was that you had to go into debt to pay for college. I could probably write a whole post about how that's probably a lie, but I digress.
Now, I have to say that John and I did a lot of things right with our finances, despite my student debt hanging over our heads. This probably kept us from complete financial catastrophe. We've strived to live within our means- ALWAYS. We stopped using cable 3 months into our first year as a married couple because we couldn't justify the bill. We've always driven older cars that didn't carry a car payment. No credit card debt, ever. We've saved in cash for every big purchase, and held off on the things we couldn't afford, even when we really, REALLY wanted them! We bought an old house when the market was low and almost always made upgrades or repairs ourselves (well, okay, JOHN mostly did those things ;) ).
That may not seem so bad, but once we started having kids, things got TIGHT. I know there are those of you who can relate. We already lived a bare-bones lifestyle, but it just didn't seem to be good enough. The idea of living such a spartan life under the stress of "what if something bad happens and we can't afford it" was too much.
I'll spare you all the details of our employment history, but rest assured, we hustled. We worked traditional jobs, we took part-time per diem work, we sold things- everything we could just to make ends meet each month.
Goodness, we even received generosity from time to time from other people during this period in our lives. A pastor who bought diapers. Friends who sent a check in the mail. A couple who filled a tremendous gift basket full of clothes, diapers, and gift cards when Abram was born. Those moments were so humbling and the memories still make me emotional.
I was scared, and we were both fed up. We wanted to raise our family without children watching their parents worry or disagree about money. We wanted the ability to say "yes" more than we said "no" (and it was ALWAYS NO). We didn't want to count on our tax refund to get us through a winter of paying the heating bill. We wanted to be a blessing to others after friends had blessed us so richly. So, we decided to get really serious and throw everything we could into paying off the remainder of my student debt as quickly as we could. We were just scraping by and didn't know where all the extra money was going to come from, but we were ready and praying.
It was the year Abram was born- 2017. We had $20k left to pay off, not to mention another $3k we were saving as best we could for hospital bills. Side note: Nothing will make you regret an epidural more than the $1,500+ bill they send you a month after birth. Really? As if pushing out a 9lb baby wasn't already traumatic enough!
So, that's our story, the short version.
And here is where I share the first, very unsurprising first step we took towards becoming debt-free:
BUDGET.
This is probably a no-brainer, but we became experts at budgeting TOGETHER. As a couple. We already had a running spreadsheet of our budget and income, but it was mostly my "baby." That changed.
John and I started meeting the last week of each month to run down our budget for the up-and-coming month. Birthdays, bills, groceries, car gas, diapers, EVERYTHING. We also started to track expenses- literally writing each receipt down on the spreadsheet to make sure we were keeping ourselves reined in. Eventually we moved on to using an app to do this, which made it more convenient to keep track of things.
I can't express how much working on a budget as husband and wife improved our outlook. The numbers may have been grim, but at least we were confident that we were on the same team and knew what we had to spend.
Additionally, tracking our expenses revealed where we could easily overspend (e.g. groceries) and where we could budget less (e.g. car gas). By tracking receipts, we ALWAYS knew where our budget stood throughout the month.
I'll write more about the intricacies of budgeting later- specifically how we cut spending down and what we eliminated completely to make room in our budget! I also have more posts lined up on other steps we took to become debt free, so stay tuned.
For now, I'll leave you with this . . . my Tony Robbins moment. Sometimes we make mistakes or life throws you a lemon or two (or a whole bag of lemons!), and sometimes we make mistakes AND get pelted with lemons. AT THE SAME FREAKING TIME! You're left feeling discouraged and afraid . . . and it's okay to experience those emotions. What matters the most, though, is not to wallow in self-pity. What matters is that you don't give up, that you don't resign yourself to a life of struggle and debt and slavery to bills. You CAN give your family a better life. Start small, with something as obvious as a solid budget, and BEGIN TO MOVE FORWARD!
Whether you're in the same boat where we were- tired of being stressed about money and fearful of every crisis OR you're in the camp that is just curious about this part of our lives, I just ask you to be respectful. We're all just doing our best, folks.
... also, since this is sort of a heavy topic, I've sprinkled in some old family photos from the archives to ease things up a bit. ;)
OUR DEBT STORY.
The debt we carried was solely my student debt. Despite working through school, receiving a RA discount AND scholarships, out of state school is still super expensive and I paid for it on my own . . . with the assistance of Sallie Mae. That's really all there is to it. In hindsight, I think there was another way to do things, to get myself through school, but at 18 years old I didn't know anything besides what the schools told you . . . which was that you had to go into debt to pay for college. I could probably write a whole post about how that's probably a lie, but I digress.
Now, I have to say that John and I did a lot of things right with our finances, despite my student debt hanging over our heads. This probably kept us from complete financial catastrophe. We've strived to live within our means- ALWAYS. We stopped using cable 3 months into our first year as a married couple because we couldn't justify the bill. We've always driven older cars that didn't carry a car payment. No credit card debt, ever. We've saved in cash for every big purchase, and held off on the things we couldn't afford, even when we really, REALLY wanted them! We bought an old house when the market was low and almost always made upgrades or repairs ourselves (well, okay, JOHN mostly did those things ;) ).
That may not seem so bad, but once we started having kids, things got TIGHT. I know there are those of you who can relate. We already lived a bare-bones lifestyle, but it just didn't seem to be good enough. The idea of living such a spartan life under the stress of "what if something bad happens and we can't afford it" was too much.
I'll spare you all the details of our employment history, but rest assured, we hustled. We worked traditional jobs, we took part-time per diem work, we sold things- everything we could just to make ends meet each month.
Goodness, we even received generosity from time to time from other people during this period in our lives. A pastor who bought diapers. Friends who sent a check in the mail. A couple who filled a tremendous gift basket full of clothes, diapers, and gift cards when Abram was born. Those moments were so humbling and the memories still make me emotional.
I was scared, and we were both fed up. We wanted to raise our family without children watching their parents worry or disagree about money. We wanted the ability to say "yes" more than we said "no" (and it was ALWAYS NO). We didn't want to count on our tax refund to get us through a winter of paying the heating bill. We wanted to be a blessing to others after friends had blessed us so richly. So, we decided to get really serious and throw everything we could into paying off the remainder of my student debt as quickly as we could. We were just scraping by and didn't know where all the extra money was going to come from, but we were ready and praying.
It was the year Abram was born- 2017. We had $20k left to pay off, not to mention another $3k we were saving as best we could for hospital bills. Side note: Nothing will make you regret an epidural more than the $1,500+ bill they send you a month after birth. Really? As if pushing out a 9lb baby wasn't already traumatic enough!
So, that's our story, the short version.
And here is where I share the first, very unsurprising first step we took towards becoming debt-free:
BUDGET.
This is probably a no-brainer, but we became experts at budgeting TOGETHER. As a couple. We already had a running spreadsheet of our budget and income, but it was mostly my "baby." That changed.
John and I started meeting the last week of each month to run down our budget for the up-and-coming month. Birthdays, bills, groceries, car gas, diapers, EVERYTHING. We also started to track expenses- literally writing each receipt down on the spreadsheet to make sure we were keeping ourselves reined in. Eventually we moved on to using an app to do this, which made it more convenient to keep track of things.
I can't express how much working on a budget as husband and wife improved our outlook. The numbers may have been grim, but at least we were confident that we were on the same team and knew what we had to spend.
Additionally, tracking our expenses revealed where we could easily overspend (e.g. groceries) and where we could budget less (e.g. car gas). By tracking receipts, we ALWAYS knew where our budget stood throughout the month.
I'll write more about the intricacies of budgeting later- specifically how we cut spending down and what we eliminated completely to make room in our budget! I also have more posts lined up on other steps we took to become debt free, so stay tuned.
For now, I'll leave you with this . . . my Tony Robbins moment. Sometimes we make mistakes or life throws you a lemon or two (or a whole bag of lemons!), and sometimes we make mistakes AND get pelted with lemons. AT THE SAME FREAKING TIME! You're left feeling discouraged and afraid . . . and it's okay to experience those emotions. What matters the most, though, is not to wallow in self-pity. What matters is that you don't give up, that you don't resign yourself to a life of struggle and debt and slavery to bills. You CAN give your family a better life. Start small, with something as obvious as a solid budget, and BEGIN TO MOVE FORWARD!
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