**I'm not a parenting expert. I'm not an expert of anything, actually. I'm an observer, and these are my opinions based on my observations.**
People will say, "Talk to your children about racism!" And I agree that's so important, but I don't think it's enough. Obviously it's not, because people my age raised in the same generation as Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers were marching in Charlottesville under the banner of hatred. It's not enough to just talk about racism and intolerance with our kids. If we are going to stop hatred from growing inside the hearts of children, we have to show them how to love others.
"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, of his religion. People must learn to hate, and if the can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
My children are still very young and I've realized we can't simply teach theoretical lessons of acceptance of others and then rest on those laurels. That won't suffice. They need to see their parents practice and live it. They need to be taught, by example, how love and acceptance are verbs.
"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, of his religion. People must learn to hate, and if the can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
My children are still very young and I've realized we can't simply teach theoretical lessons of acceptance of others and then rest on those laurels. That won't suffice. They need to see their parents practice and live it. They need to be taught, by example, how love and acceptance are verbs.
It's not too soon to start. Here are some things I think we can do to cultivate their tiny, young hearts:
1. Create a culture of friendliness.
Visit the two grannies with dogs who live on the other side of the street, bring neighbors cookies on holidays, say hello to people at the park, chat with other parents at the library. Our children are watching us as we are kind to others and will mimic our behavior. Learning how to be kind (in an age when we rarely say hi to strangers on the street) is a small but important lesson.
2. Help others when it isn't convenient.
Assist an elderly woman loading groceries into her car, help a neighbor locked out of the house, pay for someone's coffee when they're rummaging for that last bit of change. Pay attention to our surroundings and look for opportunities to step in when we're needed, even if it is at the expense of our time or wallet. Explain to our kids what we're doing, and why.
Assist an elderly woman loading groceries into her car, help a neighbor locked out of the house, pay for someone's coffee when they're rummaging for that last bit of change. Pay attention to our surroundings and look for opportunities to step in when we're needed, even if it is at the expense of our time or wallet. Explain to our kids what we're doing, and why.
3. Expand horizons through books.
I've learned that with parenting comes a smaller social circle. At the moment, it's a little less diverse, more full of people who are doing the "parenting thing" just like us. It's not intentional- just the season we're in. However, it presents difficulty introducing our kids to diversity. That's where books come in. Reading books about diversity is the platform for later learning experiences. It's just a start.
Serious conversations are ahead as our sons grow and mature. They will learn that there is a lot of ugly and wrong in the world.
Racism is wrong. Bigotry is wrong. Hatred is wrong.
Kindness is right. Understanding is right. Love is right.
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:19-21
Serious conversations are ahead as our sons grow and mature. They will learn that there is a lot of ugly and wrong in the world.
Racism is wrong. Bigotry is wrong. Hatred is wrong.
Kindness is right. Understanding is right. Love is right.
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:19-21
Well stated, and well lived.
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